"I wanted to leave so bad. You know. It’s what people usually do when they realize they aren’t welcome anymore. When their home suddenly turned into a vacation house. As if those pair of hands should return to their master’s arms. You try to leave when you find out you overstayed. But it’s not easy, I guess. Because if it is, I won’t be here talking with you, you silly flower. I’ll be smoking at a foggy window train while drinking ginger ale. That’s what I should be doing. That’s where I should be right now. Not here. I wanted to run but there are so many trees to climb, so many letters to seal with a kiss. My love is gone. I realized it just now. It’s long gone but the desire to love and be loved is still there. Still burning and aching. I want to forget him but remembering is also good. God, what should I do? How can I let him sit in my brain without allowing pain to come sit with him too? I want him in my system but I still throw up. I really want to get out of here. But not alone, not like this. I don’t like escaping because I have so many things to bring. He’s too heavy."